ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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