I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
