youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
