she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
