Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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