i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize