my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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