You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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