..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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