Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
