pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i've created a new STD.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize