The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
