I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
