his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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