Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
