im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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