I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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