omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
