How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
