i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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