she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
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Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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