oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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