Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it because I queefed?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
