Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
