if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
