I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
