So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
