Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
