Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
