ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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