Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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