he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
