Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
