Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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