Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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