The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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