i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
