are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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