I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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