I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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