She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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