No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
