Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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