You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
