You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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