i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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