Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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