Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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