direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
