He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
