this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
