Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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