I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize