I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
