Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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