The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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