Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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