he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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