I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
