therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
sex in a hospital.. check
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
