You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard my ears popped.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize