OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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